Every parent has their own unique bond with their children and they have their own style to raise their kids. Some love to pamper their children to the extent of “Your wish is my command”, while some can be the strict disciplinarian with the rule of, “It’s my way or highway.”
In between these two extreme parenting styles comes the third most balanced way of raising up the kids- Tough Love Parenting Style.
What Is Tough Love Parenting Style:
The term ‘Tough Love’ can mislead you to think that it must be an authoritative way of raising your kids where the parents want their children to comply with their every wish. Tough love style is actually opposite to it.
Tough love parenting is a strict yet very warm and empathetic way of bringing up the children and inculcating the right values in them. Instead of giving complete freedom or suffocating them under their rule, parents set some boundaries and rules for their children. Instead of rescuing their kids when something goes wrong and coming forward to help their parents let their children face the consequences of their actions. This teaches the children to take responsibility for their behavior. Through tough love parenting, parents teach their children that they love them enough but they are not accountable for the action of their kids.
Rules Of Tough Love Parenting:
Tough love parenting is based on the principle of loving your children enough to set strict rules and keeping them intact with letting the child or teen face set the consequences if he breaks them.
Tough love parenting is mostly needed for teenagers who demonstrate risky behaviors. It helps the parent to let the child face the consequences of his risky behavior and take accountability. of their actions.
Tough love parenting is based on the following strategies:
Loving your child but staying firm about the rules and discipline
Setting and letting your teen know about his limits and boundaries and the expectations that you as a parent have from him
Seeking professional help whenever required
Giving him the freedom but also guiding him when the situation demands
Treating your child as an individual who has his own personality, views, and choices
Instead of controlling the teen, the parent allows him to make his own choice and face the consequences. For example, setting the time limit of coming back home at night after attending a party. The parents lock the door if he does not come back by the set time.
Taking charge of the situation if the teen creates any unwanted problem in the house For instance: Reporting to the police if the child is found with any drug or is non-compliant to his social-service duties ordered by the court.
Tough Love never advocates :
Abusing, insulting or embarrassing the child
Kicking teens out of the house
Causing emotional or physical pain to the teen
Giving threats of calling the police
Advantages Of Tough Love Parenting:
Studies have proved that parenting style and not socioeconomic conditions or the relationship status of the parents, is the most influential factor in the character building of a child. Tough love parenting has the following benefits:
The balance of love and discipline helps the child in building a good character and makes him more responsible.
Children develop qualities like self-regulation and empathy if their parents follow tough love parenting to raise them.
Does Tough Love Parenting Work
Studies have proved that children raised by “tough love” parents are twice as likely to become empathetic, and strong under difficult circumstances. They develop strong will-power and practice good control over their emotions. Studies also prove that “Confident, skillful parents adopting a ‘tough love’ approach to parenting, balancing warmth with discipline, seem to be most effective in terms of generating these key character capabilities.”
How Can Positive Parenting Encourage Personal Development
As the term itself suggests, Positive parenting is all about setting clear parental expectations and motivating the children to achieve fulfill them. Positive parenting It stresses on praising children and rewarding them for good behavior. It is strictly against any sort of harsh punishment for bad behavior. instead, positive parenting emphasizes looking at the root cause of such behaviors focuses.
Ultimately, positive parenting is your way to strengthen the bond between you and your children. It helps them in disciplining themselves and they grow up as empathetic and good human beings.
You will raise a brat if you love him too much, he will grow up as an underconfident person if you punish him often; Its the balance of tough love which will help him to grow as a healthy and responsible individual.