Most of us have experienced terrible loss or shock or injury at some time in our lives. Each incident carried an emotional challenge. For a while we relived it, experiencing the pain/fear/distress over and over. With time – maybe months or years – the feelings fade. We remember what happened but we don’t feel the same intensity of emotion.
Eventually, we separate the event from our feelings about it. How do we do this? What do we really want to let go of? We will always have our memory, but when we come from our Peacemaker subpersonality, we put the event in perspective. A Peacemaker doesn’t whine, criticize, or ridicule. A Peacemaker doesn’t indulge in self-pity. A Peacemaker asks, “What am I to learn?”
Life is the principle of eternal growth and evolution. Life brings us every experience we need to grow. The Peacemaker knows that no matter what is this moment, her challenge is to open to the experience that Life offers.
The Peacemaker doesn’t hold onto appearances. What we fear or hate will present itself to us. Our responsibility as Peacemakers is to stay focused on what is behind the appearance. We each have something which frightens us and it comes in different forms. Maybe our boss is unreasonably demanding, apparently abusive. Maybe our co-worker doesn’t come through, apparently abandoning us. Maybe an acquaintance insults us and doesn’t apologize, apparently humiliating us publicly.
Our job as Peacemaker is to see behind the appearance and to ask, “What creates my anxiety right now?” By doing that, we remember that we are larger than the circumstance. We don’t get caught up in details — “He shouldn’t have . . ..” “She wasn’t fair. ,” “That wasn’t supposed to happen . . .” The Peacemaker places each experience in the context of her life. And then learns from it.
Our affirmation of a truth we have not yet seen is our faith. We keep our faith in the Spirit of truth, not in the appearance. Accepting betrayal may offer us a doorway to a power we haven’t imagined. Letting go of a cherished love may liberate our hearts in an unexpected way. Accepting what we don’t choose and don’t like ushers us into a wider dimension of Life and allows Divine Order. The Peacemaker never refuses an experience. We grow from everything.
Ruth Cherry, Ph.D. is the author of Living in the Flow: Practicing Vibrational Alignment, Accepting Unconditional Love, Transformation Workbook, and Open Your Heart. Her web site is www.RuthCherryPhD.com.