A constructive and growthful practice for all people in a relationship and all people wanting to be in a relationship is to ask yourself, “Why do I want to be in a relationship?” What is the compelling why that drives you either to stay in relationship or desire to be in one? Sit down by yourself and begin to write. Let your responses go deeper and deeper into the very heart of your soul. When you find the why in the very core of your being, this will give you the strength to either begin or sustain a beautiful relationship. Too many people in relationship get comfortable and into a routine. They forget to ask themselves, “Why am I here?” Losing touch with their compelling why, they stop expanding the relationship and deepening the love. For those desiring a relationship, being in touch with this significant why gives them an inner strength and power to draw a partner to themselves.
Nineteen years ago, Barry and I were having a difficult time in our marriage. We were having increasing trouble being in harmony. We were both becoming discouraged and beginning to feel that it might be easier and better for both of us if we just separated. Our first child, Rami, was two years old at the time and we were feeling that it would also be better for her if we lived separately. We came very close to ending our relationship, yet we had never asked ourselves from the deepest place of our being, “Why am I in this relationship?” So we both began to ask in prayer and meditation. In a beautiful moment our intuitive wisdom came to both of us. We are in the relationship as part of our service. Learning to deeply love one another and be in harmony is our service to the world. Previously, we had had a vision of someday writing and doing workshops together. We saw that the current inharmony and difficulty in relating was all in preparation for our service. Once we found this important why that resonated in both of our hearts, we felt the power to bring our relationship into a place of harmony and love.
We have not sunk to such a low place in our relationship again. When we begin to even sink a little bit, we both go to the place of “Why are we here together?” and the answer allows us to go even deeper into our love and understanding of one another. Learning to love, honor and respect each other completely is a gift we are giving to the world. This is our service and the compelling Why that keeps us together.