All of us have a different approach to deal with the situations that life throws at us. Some are brave and practical while others are emotional. Among all the set of affairs, facing a heartbreak proves to be the toughest and the most painful job. But the brave ones, who are mentally strong people, take breakups as just another fact of life and deal with it very practically. But for the majority of people, there can nothing be as awful as a breakup. On experience and they shut themselves up from the entire world. Trusting becomes difficult for them and they no longer want to invest their time and energy in any emotional relationship, because they don’t want to hurt themselves again. But heartbreaks are the harsh reality of our life and we can’t escape them.
Undoubtedly, I can say that you are going to read this writing because you want to deal with the most painful side of your life and know how to get over someone; breakups are devastating. Now, I would begin my writing with the feeling I have for you and I’m pretty much aware of the rough time you are dealing with. Honestly, I do not have any idea that you have experienced the breakup recently or it has been a long, but it is quite clear to me that you are unable to get over your ex and need some help.
I must say that if you are sure that you are going to educate yourself about how you can get over someone then let me make it clear that it’s a hurting course. You can never comprehend that it will take place all of a sudden. On the other hand, you also have to understand that something like this event can never be allowed to transform itself as a cause of depression. To continue living your life healthily and productively you must take some required steps.
Keep your perspective clear:
Breakups hurt and they hurt cruelly. The situation becomes worse for you if you’re the one who has been dumped. But this is the time when you need to and you should adhere to an optimistic approach. Think that whatever happens, happens for good and every bad situation is a blessing in disguise. Remind yourself continuously, that relationship is between two people and if the other one has decided to walks away from it, then the relationship also becomes non-existent and sulking over something which is not there is actually useless and waste of time, energy and efforts.
Don’t run From Your feelings
Stop wearing a mask. Don’t move on with unrealistic expectations. You can’t run away from your feelings because they are your own part, happening inside you. And moving with the facade of “Oh I don’t care, I am so strong” will be of no use. And if you are trying to do that just because you are afraid that others might think of you as a weak then its high time when you should know that no one out there is expecting you to be happy and gay right after your break up. We all know how it feels to be heartbroken and it takes time to get over someone. Hence drop all your inhibitions and take your own sweet time to process your emotions. According to psychiatrists, pretending like breakups don’t hurt and ignoring our pain will create worse situations for us. all we’re doing is creating bigger challenges for ourselves down the road. Be easy on yourself and instead of running away from your feelings accept them, embrace them so that you can deal with them. This will make things easier for you and will help you with long-term healing.
Don’t Let Guilt Overpower You:
Guilt is the worst thing that you can do to yourself after a heartbreak, it will only make the situation worse and complicated for you. You keep on suffering forever. Grieve as much as you want to, think about how you played your part in creating the problems in the situation and bring the required changes in your behavior and approach so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes. But never exaggerate your feelings and go on a guilt trip.
Break Up Was An Experience, Learn From It:
We should always learn from our experiences and heartbreak is also a kind of experience in our life and you should learn your lesson from this too. After going through the initial pain and hurt, you should take out time to introspect and review the dynamics of the failed relationship. Think about what went wrong, what behaviors you should not have accepted and what things you could have done differently. Don’t blame yourself, just process the information.
Accept That It’s Over!
If you want to get over someone then you should accept that the relationship is over. Instead of waiting for the elusive closure you should get into the terms with the reality of your life. Don’t waste your time, energy and feelings in waiting for apologies from your ex. Try and move on without unrealistic expectations. A closure brings nothing fruitful other than bitterness because post-breakup, both you and your partner will be upset, hurt and guilty. None of you will accept the faults and tell the truth. This longing for closure will only add on to your pain.
Get Rid Of Your Ex’s Stuff:
This won’t be easy especially if you shared a live-in relationship but you should definitely give it a try. Getting rid of your ex’s stuff and items is a must because they will remind you of your ex-partner. How you want to get rid of it is simply up to you. You can either throw their stuff away or give it back to your ex. You must also get rid of all of your pictures of you them.
Don’t Indulge In Blame Game:
Blaming and bitterness will be natural after a heartbreak. But it will not help you in getting over someone you have loved. Because blaming your partner will also turn the blames towards you. Remember the good times that you spent together and find more neutral things to express.
Your time and energy are crucial as well as limited. Therefore you should spend them on constructive things instead of wasting them on your ex. If you want to get over someone you should focus on practical things and needs so that you can rebuild your life.
Take your break up as an opportunity and work towards your emotional, personal and financial growth. Use your time and energy for constructive things. Do things you always wanted to do and channelize your anger and pain into doing positive things.
Go On A Solo Trip:
After break up, you will need to heal, rejuvenate, and introspect so that you can get over your ex. Going solo on a trip will help you achieve all this. Trips with friends can be fun, but it won’t help in achieving the desired results. Go to a new place; this will give your mind some new information to process and it will take its time off from the feelings attached to break up.
Self-Care Is Important:
Getting over someone you loved so much won’t be easy. It is a very demanding job as heartbreak is no less than grief. Be easy on yourself and prioritize your self-care. Take your own time and be easy in yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should isolate yourself you should instead surround yourself with your friends and family who can support you. Talk with your friends and family who had stood by you through your thick and thin. Share your feelings, doubts, and worries with them, Be practical and patient.
Let’s Talk About Some Other Best and Simple Measures
Firstly, I would mention the best technique of dealing with the before-mentioned trauma is to do not think about anything related to the person and start your life with full energy and confidence. But, I must say that writing this is easy in comparison to making things happen like it. Conversely, some things are there which can be done to get the needed assistance in this bad time and this might also deliver some sort of comfort to you.
Make sure that you are not going to think about the trauma and get rid of every such object which will urge you to remember him or her, like photos. But, I am never trying to say that throw them away rather keep them out of reach or if you are mentally prepared to throw the objects then please pave the way. It is quite opportune that he or she has been in a relationship with you, so naturally, you both have exchanged gifts, like shoes, clothes, and others; keep them away. Also, you have to forget about those places where you and your partner had a habit of visiting, like bars, clubs, or discos.
You would be thinking that these are the basics which everyone is aware of, but let me tell you that the before-mentioned techniques are helpful.
Without giving rise to any second-thought seat for counseling, because if you have already used the ways I mentioned-before or is making use of them but no fruitful results are generating. It has been observed that numerous people live with the thinking that seeking advice from an expert or a counselor is hopeless; if you are someone who hasn’t experienced a bit of relief after the incident called breakups have taken place, counseling will be supportive. When you come in contact with a counselor then you will get some worthy advice that no one else including your family members, friends, colleagues, and others will be able to convey.
If you are too much affected by the dilemma, then you might have to seat for a discussion with the counselor for many a time, but in very rare cases this happens. Before you choose which of the mentioned process is easier and productive for you, ensure that no time is right or wrong to engage in a discussion with a counselor. Thus, take as much you need but ensure that you escape this phase because it is very devastating for anyone to survive with it.