Relationships are really complicated in nature and when the relationship comes to a point where your partner ends up being the cause of your pain and suffering by deceiving and manipulating you, it’s time to call off the cause of your problems!
‘Manipulation’ is a kind of social impact that works on changing the conduct or impression of others through backhanded, beguiling, or wicked strategies. By propelling the interests of the controller, regularly to another's detriment, such strategies could be viewed as exploitative and deceitful.
Manipulative individuals turn your contemplation, activities, needs and want into something that better suits how they see the world and they form you into somebody that fills their very own needs. Unnerving, isn't that so?
HOW TO DEAL WITH MANIPULATION
To be honest, manipulation is scarily bad and people end up doing a lot of stuff which is wrong for them and their near and dear ones, upon being manipulated.
The only way to deal with manipulation is to make sure your partner knows that you’re aware of it and then, face them with a stern voice if that still doesn’t repair your loved one’s behavior?
It’s time to get rid of the dead weight.
Worried about how you will be able to identify manipulation, we have you covered!
Look for these points in your relationship with special care: -
They constantly make you feel regretful
This always starts with blame. In the event that they can persuade you to feel remorseful for your activities (in any event, even when you've done nothing incorrectly), at that point, they realize you'll be all the more ready to do what they state. “I mean yes, the slat was less but you made it and you’re happy so it works.”
See what they did there? How they turned that around to you? Superficially, they cause it to appear as though they're a caring accomplice yet spoiler alert: blaming isn't adoring.
Controllers likewise attempt and cause you to accept that they're making a superior showing of "adoring you," with the goal that you'll be additionally ready to put aside what you need so as to feel like you "love him the same amount of." It's a wiped-out mind game.
They make you question yourself
Partners like these, mentally program you to the point where you never again confide in yourself. It's hard to believe, but it is alas, true.
Controllers take your frailties and use them against you. They reliably call attention to what that is no joke and how they could have improved. They bring up your shortcomings, at that point when they make you believe that only, with their assistance, you can improve, be better. They gradually persuade you they have your eventual benefits as a top priority… however they don't.
They have their eventual benefits as a top priority. Also, so as to keep their needs and needs at the front line of your relationship, they delicately bend your speculation until you seek him for direction on everything.
They make you answerable for their feelings.
Controllers are amusing as in they invest a lot of energy making you feel as though you can't think for yourself yet then pivot and make you answerable for the entirety of their feelings. On the off chance that they feel miserable, it's most likely in light of the fact that you made them feel that way. On the off chance that they're irate, well, you would be wise to take a look at yourself since you clearly accomplished something incorrectly.
How To Deal With Manipulative People
As much as we dislike sneaky, manipulative people, to tell you the truth each one of us have to deal with them in some or the other environment. I don't find it amusing anymore as to how they creep into our world, but they sure do, and it is only fair that we are well-equipped to deal with them. Here's what you can effectively do:
- Ignore, ignore, ignore: Please don't ever, ever try to correct them, because that way you are only sinking into their trap deeper. Don't get your emotions out while dealing with them, they don't deserve to be treated to your emotions. They will use every possible thing against you, especially when they figure out what ticks you off. Eliminating them from your life completely is a good option, however, sometimes we are in a situation that we can't do so. Therefore, it is best to listen to what they have to say, and then do what you want to.
- What ticks them: Finding their center of gravity may prove to be useful. So, what if they are trying to tick you off all the time, you know that you can do it to them too. Seriously, go on the offensive and go all out. Create allies with people close to them, recruit people with their skill sets and knowledge base to replace them, or siphon away their prized resource. If you've watched Gossip Girl, then maybe unleash your inner Blair!
- Your own judgment will make the difference: Stop looking at other people to define who you are. Define yourself, trust yourself. Set your own beliefs and boundaries, and prevent manipulative people from affecting you.
- Fitting in is never the answer: Are you not unique? Are you not your own person? Then why try to fit in. Work really hard, but try to be different in every possible way and to never stay the same for too long. Like they say, change is constant, personal growth, by definition, requires a lack of consistency. It requires constant change.
- No compromises: Guilt is probably useless, but is an extremely powerful tool. Manipulative people will try to use your guilt against you. They’ll make you feel guilty for past failures and small mistakes, or they’ll make you feel guilty for being happy and confident. They’ll work to instill a sense of self-doubt within you. Stop feeling guilty. Stop doubting yourself. Compromising on your happiness is self-destruction.
- Be responsible for yourself: Don't get fooled over and over again. You can’t just float through life blaming other people for your problems. Yes, manipulative people exist. No one can manipulate you without your permission. You’re responsible for your own successes and failures.
What To Do When Someone Lies To You In A Relationship?
There are lies everywhere, and nothing can be done about it. But, you can still try to understand the reasons for such behavior. What to do when someone lies to you in a relationship? To begin with, here's what we can do:
1. Think about why they lied to you
If this is not a mental disorder, then there must be some objective reason for the lies. Think about why they did this. Were they afraid of your reaction? Were they ashamed of their action? Were they used to lying and deception in relationships with previous partners? None of these arguments justify though, but if you show empathy, then it will be a little easier to cope with emotions. If you want to really deal with the issue and not just lash out, you should analyze the situation before you start a conversation.
2. Remain calm
If you think that your partner is cheating on you, talk to them about it. Do not give in to the desire to urgently make a scene. Explain what has happened and try not to interrupt your partner until they finish talking. You need self-control not for the partner to feel comfortable with you to communicate. Don't talk too emotionally, your partner can turn the situation around. They can take offense at your insults and start telling that you need to calm down or they can even resort to gaslighting. Your reaction can give your partner a lot of reasons to get away from a constructive discussion of both big and small lies in a relationship.
3. Give them a chance to tell the truth
In some cases, we do provoke our partners into lying and deception in relationships. When a person knows that you will respond to the truth with accusations, convictions and that you are unlikely to share their position, they don’t really want to be honest. Make sure you give the partner a chance to talk to you about everything and back it up with actions. Be open to dialogue, try not to rush into assessments, control your emotions. Do not punish a person for being honest with you. For a relationship to be truly sincere, both of you should not have taboo topics. You can show them by your own example what behavior you expect, so be frank.
For as much as they detract from you and for as much as they cause you to accept that you're absolutely unequipped for controlling your very own life, they anticipate that you should be liable for how they feel.