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vigyaa-Why do some men pull away when things get serious?
Why do some men pull away when things get serious?

When a man and a woman first get together it can be going along nicely and as soon as things start to become a little more serious, a man can begin to pull away. This is naturally going to be confusing for the woman and may make no sense whatsoever.

And it can depend on how connected the woman felt to the man, as to how she responds to what took place. If everything was going well and there was the potential for so much more to occur, then there is higher chance that there will not only be anger and frustration, but also a sense of sadness and even loss.

It could be devastating and the consequences could be severe; especially if this is something she has experienced time and time again. A one off may be dismissed, but to continually attract a man who is unavailable could be overwhelming and hard to comprehend.

Reasons

There is often said to be a whole range of reasons as to why a guy would pull away. And these can include a guy that is: not fully interested in the women, is at a stage where he is not ready to settle down or doesn’t want to lose his freedom, amongst other reasons.

These can sound reasonable and may settle a women’s mind. However, if they are with a man who is into them just as must as they are into him, these are unlikely to really answer a woman’s questions.

As it was going well and flowing along nicely, it would be clear that the interest is there. And while the man may not be ready to settle down, if he has met someone he has clicked with, surely he would be open to going further. Certain freedoms may be lost, but other freedoms would be gained along the way.

At first these reasons might settle a woman’s thoughts and emotions, but based on the human need to connect with another human being, it is often more about someone’s level of emotional maturity that it is about these other reasons.

In The Beginning

From the start the man could come across as being fairly interested or he could across as being extremely into the woman. And if the man was extremely keen in the beginning, it is going to be more of a shock when he pulls away.

This could be man that is in regular contact and one who wants to spend as much time as possible with the woman and take her to places. Or in the case of a guy who is fairly interested, this might just include wanting to see her on a regular basis and to keep everything fairly consistent.

So at one moment, a woman can feel that the man is into her and everything is going so well. And the next moment, the man can become: cold, distant and completely unavailable.

Hot And Cold

While the above could be what happens, it could also be something that goes in cycles. So it is not a case of the man being available and then not being available and that’s the end of it. The man could be available and then unavailable and then after a while become available again and the cycle then continues.

When this happens, a woman could end up being taken advantage of and compromising, if she hasn’t got strong boundaries. The man could then be pursued and come to conclude that his behaviour is acceptable to the woman.

And if a woman is constantly attracting these kinds of men into her life, then it could be a sign of her own fear of intimacy. Consciously there may be the desire to connect with a man and to avoid being abandoned and at a deeper level; there could be a fear of being engulfed by one.

The Unavailable Man

So as he is available at first and then shortly after becomes unavailable, it is likely that he has a fear of intimacy at a deeper level. The reason he comes on so strong at first could relate to his conscious fear of being abandoned.

And as the relationship grows stronger, his deeper fear of being engulfed arises. When he pulls away and this deeper fear settles down, the fear of being abandoned can arise once more and the interest can reappear.

These fears are not necessarily problems per se, what can lead to problems are when these fears are reacted to, instead of faced, processed and healed.

Causes

One of the primary causes of this type of behaviour and these inner fears that causes it is the relationship a man had with his mother as a child. This could have been a mother that was emotional undeveloped and so used her son to take care of her own needs and wants.

And as she was not aware of her own behaviour and out of tune with her sons needs, she ended up smothering her son in the process. The son would have wanted his mother to fulfil his wants and needs, but would have feared being smothered if this took place.

Whether he got attention or not would therefore lead to the experience of pain. To be left would cause the feeling of being abandoned, but if the mother was available it would result in the feeling of being engulfed.

Awareness

These inner fears are creating conflict for the man and until they become aware of them, there is unlikely to be any real change. These fears and emotions, that have remained trapped in the body since those early years, can be released with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

When a woman feels completely comfortable with intimacy, it is unlikely that she would be attracted to a man who is not. So a woman may also have some letting go to do.

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vigyaa-Share Your Untold Story - Release. Let it flow. Don't hold back
Share Your Untold Story - Release. Let it flow. Don't hold back

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

― Maya Angelou

It's been a long time since you thought about it, you knew that your write-up would eventually see the light of day, but you still needed a little time to get started. May be you feel you are not prepared enough or you are waiting for the perfect inspiration to write. The inspiration you are seeking is already within you. It's time to unlock the writer within you. Remember, if you wait till you feel like writing, you will never write at all. Write to keep the memory, to testify, to feel lighter, to take stock ... or perhaps for all these reasons at the same time?

Write to keep the memory ... and transmit it!

Last year I met Ms. Marry, a 83-year-old woman who just published her first write-up, when asked about her motivation taking a deep breadth she replied "it's my 6-month-old grandson Alex. Like every Grandma, I want to tell him stories, share with him the family values. Unfortunately, I don't have enough time as I am suffering from some serious illness. However, my thoughts will still reach him through these write-ups". Like Ms. Marry, many want to give their children and grandchildren a record of their own lives. Conscious of the fragility of the memory, they wish to shelter it once for all and for several generations by inscribing it in blogs or in the pages of a book.

The initiative can also come from children. This is moreover the case more and more often. Realising that memory can be lost forever, they encourage their parents or even their grandparents to write their story. A nice gift idea!

Writing can also be an opportunity to portray a picture of a loved one who has gone missing too soon.

To testify

The people who write to testify are far more numerous than what we think. It is often a cry of the heart, a need, not only to tell each other, but to share the experience with the world. Most often their purpose is to denounce an injustice or, at least, what they feel is an injustice. The range of testimonies is broad enough: narrative of a battle against the administration, divorce that goes wrong, fight against the disease, etc. Fortunately, some testimonials can relate to a gay reality such as, for example, a beautiful love story or a reunion after years of separation.

Write to feel lighter

There is also the writing that liberates. The one that allows to discharge by putting on paper the thoughts and feelings that are too heavy to wear. So for some of us, writing can be a therapy.

But writing down one's story, especially if it's tragic, takes courage. It means plunging back into the torrent of past pain and reliving it. Events that had been forgotten, or more accurately tried to forget, come to the surface. It is a process that may jostle you, to bring down certainties, to bring you to painful observations, but also, when the work is finished, to feel freer, lighter, more in keeping with yourselves.

Write to take stock ...

For some, writing is a way to take a distance from their experience, to take stock, in a word to see a little clearer. "I'm going to rediscover my past," a gentleman once told me, comparing her pen to the pilgrim's staff.

Write to be reborn

Writing about your life is not an end, it's a beginning! We think that by writing our life, we are putting a final point. Surprisingly enough, it is often the opposite that happens. People reborn after writing their story and even prepare for a second life, filled with the energy they had just drawn from those writings.

Have you ever written a life story? If so, what were your motivations? If no, then don't hesitate or wait for the right time. Just register FREE to below link and create your Masterpiece!

Vigyaa.com is an online self-publishing platform where you will find a massive collection of handpicked articles from expert authors all over the world. We welcome all the new and experienced authors to write on our platform and reach to highly-targeted traffic for FREE. To know more mail to contact@vigyaa.com


By P Das Bookmark
vigyaa-How to choose a right blog topic that will drive a ton of traffic to your blog
How to choose a right blog topic that will drive a ton of traffic to your blog
One of the most commonly asked questions among new bloggers -- and sometimes even experienced authors -- is... "What should be my next blog topic?" Here is the first major step in creating an interesting, enlightening and impressionable blog which will actually help engage users on your blog. This is also the stage where everything can go wrong... If you go with the wrong option, you may be stuck writing on a pointless topic for months before realizing it is time to shift on the new topic. A few common mistakes writers make when choosing a topic are: Choosing a subject, they know little about. Selecting something they're not enthusiastic or passionate about. Choosing something that's too diverse -- their blog ends up having an extremely diverse range. Choosing something only because others are making money writing about it. These elements do not make a great blog -- they make up an"okay" blog that typically offers no real advantage to the reader. When you have absolutely no understanding of the use, production process, or advantages of a smart token, contact smart cards, PVC card, or scratch cards... Then why spend your time writing about a contactless smart cards company? It does not make any sense, right? However, while there are plenty of "don'ts" from the world of blogging, there are also quite a few "do's": Start with brainstorming Write down a list of everything which makes you, YOU... Your passions, education, hobbies, skills -- in every area of life --, and adventures. From this list, derive blog topics. In almost all situations, it's easiest to determine topics from something you are acquainted with or have an interest in. However, it is crucial to just pick 1 idea and stick with it... Don't try to use everything on your own brainstorming list. Determine your target audience. Can it be the housewife who desires some strategies for how to simplify matters in the kitchen? Or, is it the teenaged girl who only needs to read her thoughts laid out on paper? Similar to how you chose only one brainstorming idea for your topic, select just one target audience. You can't target every individual being -- simple as that. A 12-year old girl doesn't want or need to read exactly the exact same material as a 65-year older man. You might encounter the rare event where they do both enjoy a handful of posts, but this will not happen most of the time. Take a Look at the Marketplace. As soon as you have determined who your target audience is and what the main direction of your content is, it is time to find out who else is doing it... This is great for determining what sites you are up against for visitors and it also helps you get more blog ideas. As soon as you narrow down your niche and determine your target audience, find sites that are already ranking in that area. Take some of their most successful blog articles and make them your own -- address the other side of the debate, add your own tips, write about your experience... It is clear that people are interested in this type of content, just make it your own to the audience. Get your name out there As soon as you've done all the footwork and have gotten your site up and running with the ideal topic, it's the right time to introduce it to the entire world... One fantastic way to get one foot in the door and begin getting your name out there is by enlisting the support of a guest posting service... A guest posting service will post unique blogs -- as a guest post -- to many different blogs, including backlinks to your website. These backlinks will then help generate visitors to your site. Social networking is also a great place to promote your blog -- always discuss your new blog post on your private page, and company page in case you have it, on well-known sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Bottom-line A few last tidbits of information to keep in mind to your first -- or next -- blogging venture... Relevancy is vital: Practice relevancy by focusing on your target audience. Brainstorm everything that is important to your target audience and become aware of it. Practice relevancy by focusing on your specific niche. The narrower you make your blog topic, the more you are able to develop it as well as you can become an expert on that niche. Practice relevancy by focusing on your objectives. Focus on subjects relevant to your viewers, but ones which still fall within the relevancy of your nice. Practice relevancy by emphasizing the here and now. Relevancy is timeless. Readers don't wish to read the old news -- concentrate on fresh and upgraded methods. Practice relevancy by focusing on problem-solving. Nice and appropriate content starts with question and answer. When you're dealing with an issue, you offer the reader a strong, important reason to read your blog. Conclusion. Rather than simply writing about everything you wake up feeling just like this day, focus on narrowing it down... Brainstorm, determine your target audience, have a look at the current market, get your name out there, and above all -- stay relevant.
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