“Perfectionism” – A Trait or Humbug?
Perfectionism means having unrealistic expectations and thinking and feeling in a negative way when those expectations do not meet.
Perfectionism is mostly seen as a positive trait which increases the chances of success but do you know that it can even lead towards self-defeating thoughts or behavior that makes it harder to achieve what we desire. It may also cause stress, depression, anxiety and also other mental health issues.
Perfectionism here can be perfectly defined as a composition of excess high personal standards and critical self-evaluations.
Basically there are three different flavours of The Perfectionism Disorder –
Perfectionism exist in every single person but has a different flavors -
Expecting yourself to be “Perfectionist”:
This does not mean that you work hard and perform better, it means lot of unnecessary anxiety and worry.
Expecting from others to be “Perfect”:
This can impact negativity on your relationships who wants to be around someone who is demanding and unhappy with you all the time.
Thinking other people expect you to be “Perfect”:
It is a flavor in which people continuously believe that others will like us only if we are perfect with what we do.
There are many reasons, why people always run behind perfectionism and end up putting lots of efforts and pressurize themselves just to get the output of being called “The Perfectionist” some of the reasons are –
The greatest fear of disapproval from others. Constantly thinking about what others will say and feel about us?
Having mental issues like obsessive compulsive disorder commonly known as OCD which is characterized by unreasonable obsession, thoughts and fear.
Somewhere having parents who always exhibits and supports the perfectionist behavior and expresses disapproval when the children’s do not result their output into perfection.
People with a baggage of long history of great achievements, many a times carry a pressure along with them of being the “Perfectionist” forever.
Societal pressures of comparing, and somehow perfectionist always are concerned about what other think of you.
The best example we can take to define perfectionism in terms of societal pressures are the Actresses. Nowadays they carry such a pressure of always looking perfect. If sometimes they want to be on their own looking “Not so Glamorous” or “No make-up looks”, people suddenly troll them for their looks, their out-fits , their shape and so on. This results into depression for many of them which is just because of the pressure which they carry always with them for being called the “Perfectionism”.
Where does it come from?
Many people believe and treat perfectionism as a way to gain acceptance, praise and love.
The media impact:
When our surrounding is only filled with acceptance, praise and promotions for perfectionism. It is sowed in a child’s mind from childhood itself, that perfect is right and imperfect is a sin.
Even when it comes to Social media or Advertisements contents, perfectionism is the main part which is always promoted. Nobody ever saw a brand ambassador being a slight imperfect.
It is followed from decades that encouragement is given to only those who succeed, those who tend to be “Perfect”. But when it comes to failure we find very few who will motivate and encourage them to try again or help them to come out of trauma and believe in them again.
The root cause of perfection is believing that your self-worth is based on your achievements only. A+ grade means the kid is brilliant C Grade means dumb. This is what we have been told from birth. But very few look at the other side that may be in studies he is C but in sports or other activities he is A++.
Changing the perception of seeing the perfection in the imperfect is an art, which very few understand.
Perfection is not about being “The Perfect”. It’s about feeling “Perfect”