Why Do Some People Find It Hard To Surrender?
In today's world it is often believed that there are two ways to be in life, and one of these ways is often seen as good and another is often seen as bad. The first is to take action and to take life by the horns, which is the good way, and the second option is to be lazy and to sit around doing nothing, which is the bad way.
It is then as though there is no middle ground here; one is either a doer or they are someone who doesn't do anything. In addition to this, they can either receive positive feedback from others or they can end up being put down.
Socially Acceptable Behaviour
So, then, if someone is a go getter and doesn't sit around like some people do, they are typically going to be seen as someone who lives in the right way. What could add to this is that one may have achieved a fair amount of material success.
Through being in this position, it will be seen as further evidence that they are behaving in the right way. What this comes down to is that material success is often seen as a sign of how well someone is doing in life.
What this person owns will then be a reflection of what they have done up until this point in their life. Therefore, it if wasn't for everything they had done, their life would be very different.
Their life would be more like the life of someone who just sits around and doesn't do anything. Unlike these kinds of people, one won't be willing to sit around and to wait for things to just happen.
The Other Experience
If someone does sit around and doesn't do a lot, they could end up be labelled as being lazy. Other people could tell them that they need to stop sitting around and to do something with their life.
Someone like this might not live on the street, but they probably won't have a lot compared with the person above. One may have been told on a number of occasions that they are not on this planet to waste time.
In order for one to get themselves out of this position and to make something of their life, it will be essential for them to take action. Instead of sitting around all the time, it will be vital for them to become a doer.
Behaving in this will allow them to pull themselves out of the hole that they are in and to attain material success. And, once they have done this, they will be seen as someone who has 'made it' in the modern day world.
One way of looking at this would be to say that when one sits around and doesn't do anything, they will be like a broken down car. But, when they are someone who takes action, they will be like a car that is always in use.
One will have gone from one extreme to another, with this being the 'answer' to most of their problems. However, while a car can sit around or be driving around for just about every moment of the day, it can also have moments when it sits around and moments when it drives around.
Back To Reality
In the same way, a human being can also have moments when they sit back and just be, and they can have moments when they take action and do. After all, there is a reason why human beings are called human beings and not human doings.
Even so, a lot of people on this planet are human beings in name only, having lost the ability to just be. As a result of this, surrendering to life is something that is rarely even spoken about, let alone something that rarely takes place, and, even if it is, it is often seen as something that is negative or weak.
If someone was to think about this word, what could come to mind is throwing the towel in, so to speak, and giving up. Yet, even if this meaning doesn't come to mind, what could come to mind is simply sitting around and waiting for things to happen.
So, thanks to the conditioning that they will have received over the years, it is going to be perfectly normal for them to be repelled by this idea. Ultimately, one is going to want to be in the driver's seat, not simply lying in the back of the car whilst someone else drives.
A Big Challenge
When one surrenders it doesn't mean that they are giving up; what it means is that they are giving up control and trusting that everything will happen as it needs to. This is not another technique, though, it is what happens when one fully lets go and is able to embrace their body.
One of the reasons why this can be hard to do is because ones body can carry a fair amount of emotional pain, meaning that getting out of their head and being in their body can be overwhelming. Taking action and trying to make everything happen, on the other hand, can allow them to avoid this pain.
If they were able to get in touch with their body and to tune into how they feel, they may get a lot of insight as to why they have been unable to surrender. During this time, all kinds of feelings may arise.
They could end up feeling worthless, rejected, and abandoned, wondering if anything will happen if they allow themselves to surrender and only take inspired action. This can be a sign that their early years were not very nurturing.
Back In Time
When one was born, not only would they have been a human being in the truest sense of the word, they would have also not been able to do a lot. This was then a time in their life when they had no other choice than to surrender and to trust that their needs would be met.
Nonetheless, while this was the case, they may have been brought up by caregivers who were not attuned to their needs. Consequently, one may have spent a lot of time feeling rejected and abandoned, and this would have caused them to experience a fair amount of shame.
A Big Impact
The time in their life when they did surrender would have been very traumatic, so it is not going to be a surprise that they find it hard to surrender as an adult. The people who they trusted to look after them would have let them down, so why would they trust the universe (or another description that works for them) to be there for them?
As they were not there for them, it would have most likely set them up to believe that it was because they didn't deserve to have their needs met. This will be the reason why they believe that they don't deserve to receive anything from the universe either.
If one can relate to this, and they no longer want to struggle and strain, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
By working through the trauma that is within them, they will gradually be able to settle into their body and to trust in life. It is highly unlikely that this will take place overnight - it will take patience and persistence.
Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.
To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/