Don’t Waste Your Time Tearing People Down! - Vigyaa

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Don’t Waste Your Time Tearing People Down!

One thing that social media has given people is somewhere where they can share their thoughts on just about anything. For some people, this is somewhere where they can tear other people down.

Someone like this can pull another person down and they won’t need to worry about getting into trouble. What they say could be aimed at someone in the public eye or it could be aimed at another social media user.

A Few Reasons

One might not like what another person has said or they might not like what they have created. Either way, they will be happy to say things to this person that they might not say if they met them in the real world.

After they have said something online, they may find that they feel better about themselves. Sharing their thoughts online will then have been a way for them to release the energy that has build up within them.

A Short-Term Solution

​Yet, even if this does give them a release, it might not be long until they need to have another release. It will be as if there is a continual build up of tension within them that will need to be released on a regular basis.

So what they are doing is not going to actually solve anything and it is also going to cause them to have a negative effect on others. Sure, some people might be able to brush of what they say, but there will be others that are unable to do so.

A Destructive Influence

After they have laid into another person, this person could end up going into a very dark place. Perhaps this person was already in a bad way and, after they were put down, it sent them even further over the edge.

One can then ask themselves if this is the kind of impact that they want to have whilst they are on this earth. They can think about how much of a difference they could make if they stopped behaving in this way and did what they could to lift other people up.

A Big Difference

Not only would this stop them from wasting their precious time, it would also allow them to be a force for good in the world. To make this shift, one may need to look into why they enjoy pulling other people down.

Maybe, it because they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and need to do this to feel good about themselves. Maybe, they are not happy with their own life and spreading their own misery is the only way that they can keep their head above water, so to speak.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, whether they realise it or not, they are always having an effect on others. If they are not in a good way, it can be easy for them to tear other people down and to overlook the impact that they are having.

If one can see that they are not in a good way, and they are willing to do something about this, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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We all want to become better, happier people, and we work pretty hard at it. The marketing world keeps reminding us that we are not even close to our potential and holds up endless images of perfection that reinforce that idea. The solution advertising offers is a better appearance, more friends, accomplishments, public recognition, power, etc. We are programmed into being defined by external factors.

Additionally, self-help resources are everywhere. There are seminars, healers, books, lectures, and retreats, much of which can be helpful. The message is “if I had more of ‘___________’ I would be a happier person.” This includes wisdom, the tools on this web site, less pain, etc.

What we really mean when we say that we want to be happy is that we would like to experience less anxiety.

The “Abyss”

Many, if not most, of my patients would test out just fine on a psychological test. But chronic pain will still take you down anyway. It creates extreme anxiety and frustration. I define “The Abyss” as:

                                                      Anxiety x Anger x Time

The Abyss represents an unspeakably dark area of your brain. My patients can’t express it with words. I spent over seven years in a severe burnout. My experience also included chronic pain in several areas of my body. I experienced an intense burning sensation in both of my feet, tinnitus, multiple areas of tendonitis, migraine headaches and crushing right-sided chest pain.I didn’t know why I was having all of these symptoms and all the testing was normal. I eventually lost all hope. I “pre-tested” every millimeter of the pathway outlined on this website, mostly by trying multiple approaches that didn’t work. Suffering from chronic pain is far removed from happiness.


The DOC process is paradoxical. The harder you try to get enough of the tools to “fix” yourself the less likely you are to be successful in becoming pain free (or happy). It is critical to understand that you have to enjoy your day with the idea that your pain or your life circumstances may never improve. In other words you must learn to enjoy life with what you have—NOW!

If you are waiting for more wisdom, more re-programming tools, more money, a nicer spouse, better-behaved kids, or less pain before you can fully engage in your life, it’s never going to happen. It is life’s ultimate paradox. The harder you try to “fix” your life and yourself, the less likely you are to enjoy it.

We also forget how illogical it is to think that all of the variables in our lives are going to align so well that we are going to finally be fulfilled. And if it could happen, how long do you think it would last? Think how much energy we spend trying to control so much. Yet, we don’t give up trying.

The Reverse Paradox

Then there is the other side of the paradox. The more you can enjoy your day in light of your current life circumstances; you will then possess more energy and creativity to create a life that you desire.

Enjoy Your Day-Today

An Exercise

I often do an exercise with my patients. I look at my watch and point out that the time is X and you have Y number of hours left in the day. I ask them to make a decision to enjoy the next number of hours regardless of their circumstances, including the pain. A major key to solving your pain is to step fully into the life you want, with or without the pain.

When I was in the middle of my own intense burnout about 10 years ago, I had to make ongoing decisions to just enjoy the next 15 minutes. I’m serious. I had to make a conscious effort every 15 to 30 minutes.

My ongoing challenge to myself and to my patients is, “Enjoy your day—today.”

Enjoy Your Day-Today


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