Don’t Waste Your Time Tearing People Down! - Vigyaa
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Don’t Waste Your Time Tearing People Down!

One thing that social media has given people is somewhere where they can share their thoughts on just about anything. For some people, this is somewhere where they can tear other people down.

Someone like this can pull another person down and they won’t need to worry about getting into trouble. What they say could be aimed at someone in the public eye or it could be aimed at another social media user.

A Few Reasons

One might not like what another person has said or they might not like what they have created. Either way, they will be happy to say things to this person that they might not say if they met them in the real world.

After they have said something online, they may find that they feel better about themselves. Sharing their thoughts online will then have been a way for them to release the energy that has build up within them.

A Short-Term Solution

​Yet, even if this does give them a release, it might not be long until they need to have another release. It will be as if there is a continual build up of tension within them that will need to be released on a regular basis.

So what they are doing is not going to actually solve anything and it is also going to cause them to have a negative effect on others. Sure, some people might be able to brush of what they say, but there will be others that are unable to do so.

A Destructive Influence

After they have laid into another person, this person could end up going into a very dark place. Perhaps this person was already in a bad way and, after they were put down, it sent them even further over the edge.

One can then ask themselves if this is the kind of impact that they want to have whilst they are on this earth. They can think about how much of a difference they could make if they stopped behaving in this way and did what they could to lift other people up.

A Big Difference

Not only would this stop them from wasting their precious time, it would also allow them to be a force for good in the world. To make this shift, one may need to look into why they enjoy pulling other people down.

Maybe, it because they don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and need to do this to feel good about themselves. Maybe, they are not happy with their own life and spreading their own misery is the only way that they can keep their head above water, so to speak.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, whether they realise it or not, they are always having an effect on others. If they are not in a good way, it can be easy for them to tear other people down and to overlook the impact that they are having.

If one can see that they are not in a good way, and they are willing to do something about this, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Teacher, Author, Transformational Writer & Consultant - With Over 2,000,000 Article Views Online.


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Earlier on I was waiting in line for something and the person in front of me asked the cashier a question. They didn’t receive an answer, though, and this made them turn to me and say that they were being ignored.

A few seconds later, this person asked the cashier the same question and once again, they didn’t get a response. And just like before, they looked at me and said that they were being ignored.

Black and white

As far as this person was concerned, the cashier didn’t want to talk to them. Due to this, it was perfectly acceptable for them to get worked up and to raise their voice when they asked the question a second time.

However, while this was as clear as day to them, I thought that there was a lot more to it. Firstly, the cashier wasn’t even that close to them, and secondly, there were people in front of them.

Perception is reality

Therefore, it would be more accurate to say that the reason why the cashier didn’t reply was because they couldn’t actually hear them. How this person responded had little to do with what was taking place externally and a lot to do with what was taking place inside them.

One way of looking at this would be to say that part of them already felt ignored, with this part of them being brought up to the surface when they didn’t get the response that they wanted. But, as they were unable to realise this, they saw themselves as a victim and the cashier as the perpetrator.

Emotionally Attached

The trouble is that when someone is not aware of what is going on, they can end up playing out this same scenario over and over again. Each time they will blame another person for what is already taking place inside them.

Their conscious mind can reject the idea that they already felt ignored, but their unconscious mind can feel comfortable with feeling ignored. To the deeper part of them, having this experience can be what is familiar and therefore what feels safe.

A Closer Look

During their early years, their caregiver/s may have had the tendency to ignore them. This probably would have caused them to feel angry, worthless and powerless, for instance, and it would have played a part in how they expected to be treated.

Being treated in this way would have been painful, yet they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about it. At this stage of their life they would have resisted what took place, but as time passed, they would have come to unconsciously crave the same emotional experience.

Final Thoughts

​If the person above did have an unconscious attachment to feeling ignored and they were to heal this wound, it would be easier for them to stay present in moments like this. When it comes to healing inner wounds, the assistance of a therapist or a healer may be needed.

This is the year. I’m finally going to do it this year. I’m not wasting any more time. I’m not indulging any more delays. This is the year I am exploring forgiveness at a depth I’ve here-to-fore not mastered.

A Deeper Level of Forgiveness

I can allow others to be confused or insensitive or preoccupied. I’ve learned to not take sleights personally. I can overlook the intermittent disappointment.

But there is a level of forgiveness I’ve yet to practice. And that has to do with releasing my Child’s hold on HUGE hurt feelings. In my Adult I can forgive anything because when I’m in my Adult nothing gets too far in. I can handle it intellectually or verbally or interpersonally. But the Child feelings are overwhelming and pre-verbal, necessarily unutterable. They have to do with my very existence, with the validity of the core of my being. In my Child I can be wiped out, completely demolished. I imagine that all the parts of me dissemble and float away and that I no longer exist.

How can I forgive when my very existence is at stake?

Because my very existence is not at stake. It feels like it is to my Child, but what I know as an adult that I could not know as a child is that the light at my core is not diminished, no matter what anyone does or says. Words hurt my feelings or my sense of belonging in the world. But no words destroy the integrity of my essence.

At my core I am one with God. No one created that and no one can destroy that. Verbal or physical insults don’t reach that deeply. And no matter what anyone thinks of me and no matter who hates me and no matter how badly I’m treated, I am one with God.

And from that place I can forgive anything. What detracts at that core level? Nothing human or passing. Certainly, I don’t need to be concerned with someone else’s judgments when I identify with my God-consciousness. And I don’t judge from that consciousness. Not anyone else and not myself.

I can forgive anything and everything. As long as I’m in my God-consciousness. All I have to do is to choose that. It’s always there.

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