How to be friends with rebellious teenage daughter?
The worst nightmare of many parents is to have a rebel daughter, in this post you will read how you can close your rebellious daughter.
Children are the most precious gift in the world, that a parent can receive. You cannot wait to watch them grow and develop into a person. Watching my two girls growing up is the most beautiful journey I have ever been on. However, there few instances which made me wanted to pull my hairs out and scream into a pillow. Teenagers are tough to deal with, it is difficult to time for them and for a parent as well. The teenage is the time when the kids are craving for independence, looking for friend’s approval, navigate through the issues of peer pressure and going through tons of hormonal changes. The teenage phase, therefore, is filled with petty arguments, screaming matches, defiance, crying and door slamming.
Nevertheless, this phase does not have to be so vicious. Being a parent of two teenage girls, I eventually learned how to keep a boat afloat. This chapter does not have to be tougher then it is already. There are certain tips which you can follow as a parent to stay connected with your rebellious teenage daughters without hurting each other to establish authority. If you are also troubled by your defiant teenagers and looking for ways to make peace at home your home, then keep on reading!
It is very natural to compare your kid’s successes with your friends and relatives’ children’s achievements. You as a parent have to learn that every child has their own process of learning, they have their very own method to deal with things, so how can you compare two very different individuals? By comparing them you are making them feel inferior, which can take a toll on their self-esteem. Instead of comparing your kids with others, appreciate their individuality which will flourish their self-confidence. This self-belief will aspire them to achieve more and feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Growing kids constantly need to feel loved and appreciated by their family and friends. Some task might look easy but you do not know the struggle and effort that your kid has poured into it. By appreciating their accomplishment, you are not only going to validate their success at something but also motivating them. Learn to appreciate little things. For example, if they have cleaned their room on their own, or cleaned the kitchen, done their laundry etc. the gratefulness will encourage them to do more. You can appreciate verbally or give them a small present as well as a token of appreciation.
In today’s world, the body image is considered more important than an individual’s personality. No girl is happy with the nose she is born with. Therefore, you will be constantly hearing please for node jobs and lip fillers. You have to make them see that everyone is different and they should appreciate their uniqueness. Being a girl society is subjected to lots of beauty standards that can cause irreversible damage to their confidence. It’s your job to teach them self-love and not follow the world’s ever-changing beauty standards.
Do not act as disciplinarian
The worst thing you can do is to act like a stickler in front of the defiant teenager. I know as a parent you have to wear many hats and an authority figure is one of them. However, do not force your authority in their face it is only going to push them to test your limits of authority. Teenagers want to be treated as an adult and have the same amount of respect. Instead of scolding and chastising them, you can be subtle about it and make them see your point of view. The heated argument will only push you farther apart, but by having a decent conversation about it you might resolve it much more easily.
Do not bluff them
There are certain rules to be followed which makes your children disciplined. Teenager as an act of rebel tries to go against all these rules. In this case, you have to hold your ground and give them a punishment to make them see that there are repercussions if the rules are not followed. These punishments do not have to be extreme but enough to make them realize their mistake and prevent them in future repeating the same mistake. For example, tell them they are not allowed to go out with their friends until they have completed their school assignment. Once you have assigned this punishment and still, they have gone against it, do not back away from your punishment. This will give them that you are bluffing and they will call out your bluff every time. After the punishment is served your daughter will be sullen for days and might skip on a few dinners, in this case, do not feel guilty and make up for your guilt by giving them presents. This present will defy the purpose of punishment.
Choose your battles wisely
There are going to battle every day, a new argument every hour. You have to decide which issues are important to focus on. Not every conflict is worth your time and energy, don’t make arguments as a way of interaction with your children. Spending every moment arguing will drift you both apart, the children will eventually stop coming to you because they don’t want another screaming match. By avoiding minor disagreements, you become more approachable to your children.
Try to indulge with them
I know parents and teenagers have polar opposite interest and it can be very difficult to find common ground. Try to find at least one activity in which you can both divulge, it may be watching scream queens or America’s top model. The time that you both spend together as a family will bond you and make you both a little more understanding and supportive towards each other. Make a shopping date, brunch or spa day a weekly ritual where you try to connect with your daughter. In this time, you can bond by asking them about their day or any upcoming event.
As a parent, we cannot help but choose certain professions for our children. You have to accept that they might not want to be what you want them to be and it is okay. This acceptance may take a little while, but as a parent, you have to be adult about it and give them the freedom to choose their own path. Teenagers are already dealing with a lot of social pressure. A lot of people are out there to discourage them already, do not be one of them and make your home environment stifling. Be supportive of them in every way you can. Try to look at things from their point of view, which will give you insight into what and why they are doing it. Take part in their discussion and be more open-minded to new ideas.
Talk to someone!
Raising children is a draining job, especially when it comes to daughters. On some days you might not want to deal with it at all. Nonetheless, parenting is a job where you can take no leaves. It is very helpful to talk about this with others, you can share it with your friends, family or meditator and you will soon notice a difference.
Going through my girls’ teenage phase was enlightening. I learned a lot as a parent. This phase will be over sooner than you know, all you need is a little patience and understanding to go through it. Try to understand that it is as difficult for your kids as it for them. All these tips made this phase easier for both me and my kids and I hope it does the same for you. All in all, being a parent, it is easy to make mistakes but does not hesitate to admit them. Try to be more open-minded and more supportive of your daughter’s decisions.
If you have any more parenting tips on how to deal with rebellious teenagers feel free to share it in the comments below.