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The Best Way to De-Stress After Work for a Happier Relationship

Going from busy at work to busy at home will increase those stress hormones, so it’s important to reset yourself into a state of calm before you arrive home.

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There’s nothing worse than arriving home from work tired and grumpy. This can upset the balance of your relationship with your spouse, children and other people you live with. If you find yourself annoyed by your partner’s sexual advances, being short-tempered with your kids, or constantly drained with no energy, consider implementing this 10-minute practice on your way home from work each day, to stop feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

When you are feeling emotionally triggered, your Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is activated. The release of stress hormones throughout your body, including adrenaline and cortisol are what make you feel so intensely wired!

Going from busy at work to busy at home will increase those stress hormones, so it’s important to reset yourself into a state of calm BEFORE you arrive home. This will ensure you are able to easily respond to your family’s needs instead of losing control, shutting down or overreacting (when all you want to do is connect).

It also means you get to enjoy essential time for yourself so you can be a more relaxed, balanced and happy individual.


Consequences of Not Dealing with Stress

Conversely, if you don’t deal with those stress hormones they will continue to have a detrimental effect on your overall health and wellbeing. Your adrenal glands pump out excess cortisol when you're anxious or under intense stress. This will negatively affect your health if the levels stay too high for too long.

Ongoing stress leads to cortisol accumulating in your body. This results in belly fat as well as wide-spread inflammation that can cause major health problems including heart disease and diabetes, as well as contributing to erectile dysfunction challenges in men.

Stress hormones, especially cortisol, are exhausting to your body. Irritability, depression and anxiety have all been linked to high cortisol levels. There’s only so much stress your body can take before being compromised, so it’s best to deal with those stress hormones before they accumulate and become a bigger problem.

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 How to Stop Feeling Stressed Right Now

By taking a small amount of time for yourself in between work and home (or at any time throughout the day) you can reset your body into a state of calm. While it won’t solve all of life’s niggling problems, it will certainly ensure you improve your ability to cope with them!

Know that this is an essential component of taking care of your own mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. Practicing this simple technique every day will also make you a nicer person to be around.

On your way home (especially after a particularly stressful day), stop somewhere peaceful or simply pull over and park your car on the side of the road. If you are on public transport, just close your eyes and use this time to rejuvenate yourself. Set the timer on your phone if you are concerned about falling asleep. Tune out the outside world by closing your eyes and turning your attention inward. You are still able to hear outside noises but they are in the background and no longer your point of focus.

With your eyes closed, feel into your body. If there's any tension, instead of trying to ignore or suppress it, just place your conscious awareness there and let your body unwind. Focusing your attention into the sensations in your body immediately stops distracting and disruptive thoughts and results in a feeling of calm. To enhance this process, take a few slow, deep breaths.

Slowly inhale and slowly exhale. If any random thoughts come to mind, quiet them by returning your attention to slowing your breathing and the feeling of the seat beneath you. You can even imagine you’re melting into your seat. You’ve got this. 

 

In summary

If you take this essential time for you EVERY day to get rid of stress and relax your body and unwind, you will find yourself more relaxed and open to receiving your partner's sexual advances, your children’s demands and anything else that life presents you with. It also means that if someone else is going through a challenging time, you are more able to show them empathy, support and encouragement they need.

However, to truly be in charge of yourself, requires resetting your thinking and emotions so you don’t overreact due to a perceived threat or hurt.

ERT (Emotional Reset Technique) is a method that helps you establish a calm physiological state when feeling emotionally triggered. It will convey cues of safety to others by resetting and regulating your facial expressions, gestures and tone of voice as well as improve your ability to hear clearly and articulate any concerns. ERT also helps calm your heart, down-regulates defense systems and increases the flow of beneficial hormones and neurochemicals within your body such as oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin and endorphins.

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