What Does Fear Do and How To Overcome It
Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being accepted, fear of being ridiculed, fear of humiliation stop you from taking action.
What Does Fear Do?
“Don't let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen.”
Fear is a very strong emotion that leads to others emotions. Have you ever felt fear? What happens to you when you are in a state of fear? What happens to your mind when you are afraid? What happens to your body when you are scared? What happens to your heartbeat? What happens to your palms? Do they get all sweaty? Do you panic? Are you able to think clearly in a state of fear? In fact, I’m sure just thinking about fear right now is making you uncomfortable, isn’t it?
Fear paralyzes you from moving ahead. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of not being accepted, fear of being ridiculed, fear of humiliation are all things that stop you from taking action. It leads to a lack of confidence. It leads to laziness, lethargy and procrastination.
When you have fear within you, you won’t do anything. You will hesitate to speak to that wonderful boy or girl who can become your life partner, with whom you can share laughter and lots of love. You will be afraid to speak to someone who has the power to change your financial destiny by giving you a better job or a new business opportunity.
Fear will stop you from starting anything new. It will mentally tie you up and your growth.
When fear starts dominating your life and decisions, you can’t think clearly. You become closed to new ideas and new ways of doing things. This slows you down and makes you go inside a shell.
Overcoming fear leads to action. A lot of times, once people realize that fear is stopping them, they ask me – “Yogesh, how can I overcome fear?”
Here’s what I share with them.
What is the best way to overcome fear?
“Be not afraid of anything. You will do marvelous work. The moment you fear, you are nobody.”
The best way to overcome fear is very simple - face it! Look it directly in the eye and instead of running away from your fear, move closer to it. Don’t hide from what you fear, instead seek it out boldly. Once you do this, your fears will start fearing you!
Fear isn’t real and it’s merely a construct of our mind. What you fear today will be irrelevant tomorrow. Look back at your own life, the things you feared as a small child don’t matter at all today. In school you might have been afraid of a certain teacher or a certain subject, today it seems like a distant dream. When you look back now, it might seem like something so silly to have been afraid of.
Our fears get magnified in our mind. Only when we face them boldly do they disappear. Whatever your fears are, I want you to start facing them right away. You can face them mentally or physically.
So let us say you are afraid of meeting people or speaking to them, go out and face your fear. Just start speaking to people, it could by a colleague, classmate or a complete stranger. In the beginning you might feel nervous, but gradually you will overcome your fear and start enjoying what you are doing.
On the other hand, let us say you have a fear of failure – face it mentally. Think about your life and let your mind know that failure is not permanent. Anyone who has tried something new has failed temporarily. That is how we grow as human beings and progress. I learnt to walk because as a child I fell. I learnt to speak, because I babbled and made mistakes. I learnt to ride a bicycle because I banged my cycle and bruised my knees. Had I stopped trying to walk the first time I fell, or stopped speaking the first time I made a mistake or stopped riding my bicycle the first time I banged it, I would never learnt and grown.
It is only when you face your fears, mentally or physically, that you will overcome them. And at the end of the day, what is there to fear and worry about? We are all on this planet (or Mars, in case you are reading this there!) only for a limited time. So we might as well live every moment filled with passion and courage.
How I Was Forced Into Overcoming My Fear of Public Speaking
“Every time I ran from my fears, they grew bigger. The moment I faced them boldly, they got scared of me and ran away.”
Sometimes we may also need others to push us into overcoming our fears. This is what happened to me when I was in the 8th grade while growing up in Iran. I had recently shifted from the Tehran International School to the Indian School in Iran. I was one of the only students who knew French and the Principal at my new school had asked me to recite a French poem in the morning assembly. I had never spoken in front of a crowd before and I was terrified of public speaking. And I had no choice since I couldn’t say no to the Principal. When I thought about it I realized the good thing was, at least nobody at school understood French, so even if I made a mistake nobody would know! I practiced a French poem called Le Pelican – which was about a bird. The day I was to read the poetry in front of all the school came. I went on stage and looked at the students and teachers and started reading the poetry. I went on the stage, trembling inside, and looked at all the students and teachers staring at me. I started the poem. My palms were sweaty and my legs were literally shaking, but just within a minute or two, I started feeling more and more confident and then even started enjoying myself. When I was done, I felt great. Everyone started clapping, and when I came off stage a few students even tried making fun of me, calling me “Le Pelican” but it felt amazing – all great people are made fun of in the beginning. I overcame my fear and today, thanks to that experience I’m able to speak in front of thousands of people. I am grateful to my school Principal for pushing me to overcome my fear of public speaking.
If you feel you will be unable to face your fear by yourself and overcome it, get someone to partner with you. They can be the ones who give you a push to face your fears.
“Screw it, let’s do it!”
Now, before we proceed further with the Succeed The Happionaire Way program, I want you to make me a promise, and more importantly to yourself. Are you ready?
Promise that you will start living your life fearlessly and take action. At first, even if your actions are not perfect, even if you stumble and fall, you will continue getting up and moving ahead. You will continue learning and growing. Is this a promise I have? If I heard a Yes, I’m happy and we can continue on this wonderful journey we are having together towards a life filled with success, happiness, love, abundance, bliss and laughter!
The above are book excerpts from Succeed The Happionaire Way – Yogesh Chabria’s #1 Bestseller. Find out more on www.happionaire.com