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You Are Amazing and Other Communication Hacks

A client of mine just called to tell me I'm amazing. I like when that happens. In fact, I like it so much that I'll try twice as hard to make him happy next time. Of course, I have clients who are unhappy too.

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A client of mine just called to tell me I'm amazing. I like when that happens. In fact, I like it so much that I'll try twice as hard to make him happy next time.

Of course, I have clients who are unhappy too. I write copy for a lot of different people and businesses and I don't always nail the exact style a client is looking for. Sometimes there are communication issues too. Clients say they want ABC, but forget they also want DEF. How they give feedback on my writing determines how happy I am to try to live up to their "new" requirements. If they tell me my copy was awful I'm unlikely to feel inspired trying to change it. If they tell me they appreciate my efforts, but are looking for something different and would be really happy if I can edit it, I naturally try to match their niceness by doing a good job.

That's not to say I don't do a good job with people who are terrible at communicating nicely - it's my job to deliver the copy whether they're nice or not - my point is merely that instinctively we respond differently depending on how someone communicates with us. If we get angry we first have to stop being angry before we tackle the task at hand and as some people don't know how to take responsibility for their anger they start a fight if they feel offended.

In Blink Malcolm Gladwell talks about doctors who get sued for making mistakes and conclude that whilst most doctors are human and will make mistakes in their career, people normally only sue them if they dislike them. If you establish rapport with people, they respond differently to you.

If you want different results in life, you might want to change how you communicate. From how you flirt, to how you deal with your employees. People often think they don't need to learn communication skills, almost as if learning how to talk to people would mean they're faking their personality. It's not about their personality. It's about learning to express oneself in ways people respond to favorably. If you want people to actually see your heart, you need to learn to communicate it. If you want them to hear what you're saying, you need to say it in a way where they understand you. If you accidentally make them upset, they aren't really going to pay any attention to what you're saying.

In a similar manner, you need to learn that how you perceive something isn't necessarily how it was intended to be perceived. Some people aren't great at communicating, nor do they have a desire to learn to communicate better. That doesn't mean they dislike you. What's more, even if they did dislike you, it's not going to help you to mope about it. You have to take responsibility for your reactions. As I always tell the kids I raise: if someone tells you that you're purple, you aren't going to be offended as you'll think them stupid. So if someone tells you that you're ugly you don't have to be offended either, because you know it isn't true.

If, on the other hand, you being purple is a valid comment, then you have to learn to take it on. But taking on criticism doesn't make you bad. It's just an opportunity to learn. Your value as a human being hasn't changed.

Of course, if you get negative feedback and really don't want to take something on you can just write an angry tweet about it. Because tweeting solves everything. It's true. It's fantastic.

If you're thinking about tweeting about someone, I think you should consider going for "You are amazing!" kind of tweets though...much more effective, wouldn't you say?



Related Articles

It's really hot outside right now - and sometimes the question is, what are we going to do now to offer the kids something despite the heat? We have some tips for you, maybe you can use them with your little ones.


Water fun in the pool


We have a pool in the garden, but it is not very big, about 3 meters in diameter, in our eyes absolutely sufficient for a fun or quiet cooling. Surely you can not swim in it, but in order to "dive" for an object, or "water dances" or just to relax, it is definitely enough.


One should not forget that also in the water to the sun protection must be thought. That means, as in the outdoor swimming pool: do not forget to apply creams. In the best case, the pool is in the shade or is protected by a larger parasol. Ours is in the sun - we hold the children in strong heat and sun to regular water breaks, so that they can then stay in the shade. Sometimes they do not see it directly, but with some persuasion and an ice cream or drinking break, it works.


Water fun without pool


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Not everyone is in possession of a pool, has no garden or simply lacks the money for the purchase. Alternatively - as with us earlier - a small pool of water or an old bathtub can be set up and filled or even just a bucket of water, where it quickly sets the fun, namely, if you use small syringes and injected each other wet.

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Or fills bombs and plays catching, at some point they are sure to break and depending on how cold the water is, in some the screaming is certainly great.


Do you have gradients on the property? Then try a waterslide. A tarpaulin is laid out, at best a slightly longer one, filling a bucket of water and sliding down with or without a butt-end slide. Or build a shower or a sprinkler, where you can also refresh yourself wonderfully. However, this is more likely if you can take the water from a well or rainwater collection tank. Tap water is too expensive.


To eat and drink


You should always encourage the children to drink. Of course, they only do it when they are thirsty, and then it is already too late. There is then already a lack of fluid in the body. For example, 10-year-olds should drink around 1.2 liters a day. In case of heat, sports or illness this need increases. Outdoors, the glasses or cups should always be capped, as there is a risk that bees or wasps will fly in. The safest are lockable plastic water bottles.


Our favorite drinks are:


  • water diluted with water
  • Springs of any kind
  • sometimes cold tea (fruit tea, slightly sweetened)
  • water


To eat at noon in such a heat often nothing hot, but rather fruit, pudding and cold dishes, cereals with fruit, yogurt, milk and other things, which falls into our hands.


What you can do with children when it's really hot


Summer is finally here, and that's right! In the meantime, if it's too hot outside for you, we have collected a lot of ideas for "cool" activities with big and small children - whether at home or on vacation.


If the outside temperature is more than 30 degrees Celsius and the sun is burning, you should do the same to the inhabitants of southern countries: stay inside during the day. Unfortunately, it is rarely as pleasantly cool in Central European apartments as in a Moroccan riad or Spanish patio.

Our hot-tip game tip: Turn on the fan and spray each other with a water atomizer - the wind adds a great deal of "glorious cool" factor and the spray is so fine that the floor does not get really wet (and slippery).


Funny for smaller children are also soap bubbles, tissue paper snippets or light cloths that can fly in the vortex of the fan; the elderly may try to keep folded aircraft in the air with the help of the fan.

 

Summer Idea Number one: bathing, splashing and swimming


On the beach and the sea you have to do without - or at least wait until it finally goes on vacation? Well, it would be too hot for your little ones anyway.

Even on the smallest balcony fits a wash basin for prattling. With watering can, pots and scooping tools, little children are busy for hours. And if it is too hot even there, just sit in the bathtub with your child.

 

Tip for shower-only users: An inflatable paddling pool can be squeezed into the lowest bath.

 

Do you have a yard or garden, where the temperatures are reasonably bearable, then you can declare this area to the water playground (a meadow in the park is of course also). A garden hose with spray attachment, a few water guns from the toy store (which should be sold out, Amazon often provides the very next day) and self-filled depth charges are the basic equipment for a day full of "Aqua Fun".

Your imagination knows no bounds: homemade glitter-glibber , bodypainting with finger paints or ice cube massage - you'll probably find more "cool stuff".

 

On the way in the city it gets really unbearable on hot days - the children sweat and nölen, playgrounds lie in the sun and on the slide one burns up the A ... In many cities public fountains offer a splendid refreshment.

 

Experience report thoroughly before you let your offspring climb into these facilities:


How is the soil under water - overgrown with slippery algae, sharp-edged or with tripping hazards?

What is the water quality? (if it is not drinking water, infants should not bathe here)

How strong are the fountains, is there a risk of injury or are the facilities even endangered by playing children? (You have the duty of supervision! If your children break something while you are supervising them, the liability insurance does not cover the damage.)

Are there signs or prohibitions for the use of the fountain? Where many tourists are traveling, bathing children are often not so welcome.

Is the fountain in the shade? When playing in the sun, while they are pleasantly wet, children do not notice the heat and get a quick sunburn or sunstroke.


 

For reasons you should not let your kids play naked in such actions; instead of a bathing suit or bikini, T-shirts and shorts get better, which you then exchange for dry ones. After all, you use the fountain quite by accident and not specifically as an outdoor pool, right?

 

By the way, much cooler than bathing lakes are brooks - if you come to one (in the city area many small watercourses are unfortunately completely embedded in concrete or laid underground), then enjoy the ice-cold foot bath.


 

If you really want to take a good bath, the early morning hours or the time just before the closing time are ideal for a visit to the outdoor pool. If you jump into the pool first, you will enjoy cool temperatures, more space and shade on the sunbathing lawn; the soil is not yet so heated and the ozone pollution of the air is still low.


After work or a kindergarten visit you are best left with a visit to the outdoor pool, even if you really want to swim. At 6 pm, most of the outdoor guests are slowly packing up, the area is empty and you can enjoy the water until the end.

Tip: pack a light picnic and have dinner in the bathroom. Then you can put your clean, well-fed and well-made children directly to bed at home.

 


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